Why I deleted the Facebook app from my phone

We've all done it, groaned as we scroll through our Facebook feed and seen one of our friends posting yet again about their cat, dog, children, car etc...

However, those women in Australia who sent an anonymous letter to their 'friend'  who posted in their opinion one too many pictures of their child, took it a little too far.  Anyone who has to send an anonymous letter is certainly not a friend in my view.

Having 24/7 access to what our family, friends and colleagues are up to has not brought people closer but instead seems to breed jealousy, pettiness and made people question whether their own lives are as interesting or fun as others.

I had a similar conversation with one of my own friends who took my post about my holiday as me gloating or that I was in some way rubbing her nose in it.  She was taken aback when I said:

"Not all posts on social media are intended for you."


I explained that I use Facebook as my own journal and that I like to use the check in button as a way to record where I was so I can look back on it.  I only ever post 1-2 photos out of laziness more than anything. I also explained that I like to use it to keep in touch with Uni mates who are geographically spread all over the country as sharing pictures, private messaging and arranging reunions was far easier than sending umpteen emails.  She was a little surprised however to hear that my family and work colleagues joining Facebook had actually ruined it for me.  I think having work colleagues on there is pointless as you see these people on a daily basis.  In my opinion they are also the most likely to be snooping so I am very picky about who I accept and what they can see.  So you could argue why accept them as friends at all.   Unfortunately, some family also fell into this category but it also became frustrating that whenever you saw them conversations were preceded with "I saw that on Facebook you..... or did you not see the photo of......"  This made me question whenever I had done something nice that I wanted to record, that maybe I shouldn't, or who will I offend by posting this? I am well aware that you can set up privacy and have custom groups so only certain people see certain things but in the heat of the moment you don't always want to think about that - you just do it.

Picture: JohnHolcroft.com


My friend said she felt bad about saying anything to me.  I asked her whether she found herself scrolling the news feed aimlessly and she agreed.   People use social media sites for different reasons and can express themselves however they like (obviously within reason).  Maybe its just that we are looking at it too much.  I suggested that she do what I do and that whenever you see something that you do not like, or have no interest in ask yourself "am I the intended recipient?"  If we feel bad, jealous etc from seeing something on Facebook maybe it says more about us than about the person who posted it.  Shouldn't social media be a benefit to us and something we get joy out of, otherwise why use it?

However, a few days later I found myself aimlessly scrolling through the feed at breakfast and ended up in a terrible mood over something a family member had posted.  Without hesitating I deleted the application off my phone.   I can still contact my uni mates but now I have to specifically log in.  This was over a month ago and I have not missed nor had the inclination to log on at all.  In fact if anything I'm happier.

What is more interesting is that my friends and I have actually called, texted and met up more often for a coffee and  'proper catch up'.  Conversation does not revolve around what has been posted but we listen to each others news with genuine interest.

I continue to use Facebook as before, recording my whereabouts with check in and for keeping in touch with Uni mates.  My work friends are going to be on LinkedIn only and family notified that if they want to contact me - pick up the phone or pop by.  Otherwise I will only be checking it sporadically for news.

Social Media is a wonderful tool, the key is to not get so consumed by other people's lives that you forget to live your own.


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